I mean, to me it seems silly that someone would be naive enough to go into the show and treat it like a legitimate opportunity to find a soulmate. Given the nature (one person dating 30 other people at the same time) and history (only a handful of marriages with only one of those still going) of the show, no one could possibly be that doe-eyed right?
At the same time, it seems very cold that someone would treat it as just another reality game show. As much as I find it hilarious when people on the show mention this phrase, there is something to be said about The Right Reasons and there's something a little sinister about someone going on the show just for publicity or just to play the game or something like that while others are genuinely invested.
To be honest I don't know if one is better or worse than the other, but I always find it strange that there are people who go on this show not seeming to know what the premise is. It's not like it's a new thing as it's been on for many years now. I think that no matter why you're there (love, fame, "winning," etc) you should be doing things that increase the chances of you getting what you want. You need to know how to play the game. And in order to do that, you have to reconize both sides of the show.
A Word on the Departed
I can't say I'm too surprised that Samantha got the boot, although that it happened during the group date was a surprise. She seemed nice enough, but a little airheadish although I might be biased by the blonde pageant queen stereotype. I have to say, I don't really understand Ben's logic in letting her go. I guess Ben didn't like that she wasn't happy that she'd only been on group dates? Except that Nicki basically complained about the exact same thing literally minutes before his conversation with Samantha. His explanation seemed kind of dodgy. Maybe he just didn't want to flat out say he wasn't interested? I don't know.
I'm sad Monica's out, but it was bound to happen. She's older than the other girls and really didn't have any chemistry with Ben. Actually on tonight's episode we got a shot of her and Ben walking away to talk during the cocktail reception, but then it cut back to the girls talking amongst themselves. Probably not a good sign. Still, she was clearly the mother hen/big sister to a lot of these other girls and it really showed tonight. It'll be interesting to see what some of these girls do without her to talk to.
Week 4 Power Rankings
(Note: I've never done power rankings for anything. Obviously I realize we don't see all the interactions between people but whatever. Enjoy and make fun of how wrong I am)
1. Kacie B
Already mentioned how much I like her. She seems really taken with Ben (This seems common for people who get the first one on one. Any veteran watchers like to confirm?) and their interactions always seem so much more natural and easy than when Ben's with anyone else. She seems very invested already, but unlike the other girls, I actually believe her when she talks about the connection that they have.
My only misgiving with her is that she doesn't seem to know she's on the Bachelor. How else to explain why she seems to expect every one on one date? Or how surprised/hurt she is when she sees Ben kissing other girls right after kissing her? Like it actually seems like she genuinely believes that Ben is her fiance/boyfriend and cannot comprehend why he is even taking the time to talk to these other girls.
A Word on the Departed
I can't say I'm too surprised that Samantha got the boot, although that it happened during the group date was a surprise. She seemed nice enough, but a little airheadish although I might be biased by the blonde pageant queen stereotype. I have to say, I don't really understand Ben's logic in letting her go. I guess Ben didn't like that she wasn't happy that she'd only been on group dates? Except that Nicki basically complained about the exact same thing literally minutes before his conversation with Samantha. His explanation seemed kind of dodgy. Maybe he just didn't want to flat out say he wasn't interested? I don't know.
I'm sad Monica's out, but it was bound to happen. She's older than the other girls and really didn't have any chemistry with Ben. Actually on tonight's episode we got a shot of her and Ben walking away to talk during the cocktail reception, but then it cut back to the girls talking amongst themselves. Probably not a good sign. Still, she was clearly the mother hen/big sister to a lot of these other girls and it really showed tonight. It'll be interesting to see what some of these girls do without her to talk to.
Week 4 Power Rankings
(Note: I've never done power rankings for anything. Obviously I realize we don't see all the interactions between people but whatever. Enjoy and make fun of how wrong I am)
1. Kacie B
Already mentioned how much I like her. She seems really taken with Ben (This seems common for people who get the first one on one. Any veteran watchers like to confirm?) and their interactions always seem so much more natural and easy than when Ben's with anyone else. She seems very invested already, but unlike the other girls, I actually believe her when she talks about the connection that they have.
My only misgiving with her is that she doesn't seem to know she's on the Bachelor. How else to explain why she seems to expect every one on one date? Or how surprised/hurt she is when she sees Ben kissing other girls right after kissing her? Like it actually seems like she genuinely believes that Ben is her fiance/boyfriend and cannot comprehend why he is even taking the time to talk to these other girls.
I mean I get it (sorta). I'm sure it's an extremely intense emotional experience. Still...crying just because someone else got a one on one date? Really? I don't know if she has trust/insecurity issues from the past or maybe she's just a (what do they call it?) stage 5 clinger, but that seems like a wild overreaction. Right now she seems like the favorite to become the Bachelorette when she gets dumped. Either that or she'll become a stalker. Still, I think she's a lock for top 3 unless she has a complete mental breakdown.
2. Courtney
Oh Courtney, she really is my favorite. I find that most of the stuff she says is right on. Out of all the girls, she's the most prepared and capable of playing the game. I don't even know if the other girls realize there's a game at all. Ben takes the girls on a horseback riding/fishing date, but while most of the girls seem content to try to reel in a fish, Courtney seems to be the only one with her eyes on the prize.
2. Courtney
Oh Courtney, she really is my favorite. I find that most of the stuff she says is right on. Out of all the girls, she's the most prepared and capable of playing the game. I don't even know if the other girls realize there's a game at all. Ben takes the girls on a horseback riding/fishing date, but while most of the girls seem content to try to reel in a fish, Courtney seems to be the only one with her eyes on the prize.
"I know this is a fishing date, but let's be honest, it's not about catching a trout. It's more about catching Ben. I've never fished before but catching a fish probably isn't that much harder than catching a man...it's all about knowing when to make your move and I'm not seeing a lot of moves at all being made towards Ben."
Regardless of whether or not she and Ben actually have chemistry (I think they do, or at least just as much as nearly all the girls there), she seems to be the only one there who is conscious of the fact that they're on the Bachelor.
She doesn't just talk the talk, she walks it as well. She doesn't force anything on the fishing date, but when she sees her chance she makes her move, pulling Ben away from the rest of the group instead of just standing there trying to make small talk as most of the others do. The fact that she ended up being the only one to catch a fish is just gravy.
Not only that, she's able to steal him away again during the little pool party afterwards. She knows she hasn't endeared herself to the rest of the group and takes advantage of it, telling Ben that she doesn't feel comfortable on the group dates because the other girls don't like her. Once again Ben takes the bait, seeing this as some kind of weakness and being all too ready to save the day with the group date rose.
I honestly don't know if she's completely playing Ben or if she does have feelings for him, but she's definitely playing the rest of the girls, who seem to be reliant on their "connection with Ben" to keep them safe while she makes moves to endear herself to him beyond that. Either way, I'm pretty sure she will be in the top 3 as well. To me, no one really comes close to her or Kacie B. at this point in the show in terms of how far along they are with Ben. Possibly more importantly, I believe that Courtney is the smartest person in the house right now. Some might see it as conniving or manipulative; I just think she has a strong understanding of what she needs to do to get what she wants moreso than the other girls. And not only that, she's a knockout. Sometimes life isn't fair.
3. Jennifer
Ben seems to like her a lot despite the fact that when they're actually talking to each other, there doesn't seem to be any depth. Still, they always seem eager to spend time together and Ben thinks she's the best kisser there. I don't think those two are necessarily unrelated.
(Sidenote: Ben loves kissing. He kisses everyone whenever and wherever he pleases. I think by this point if Ben hasn't kissed you, it's hopeless. Honestly it seems like it's a replacement for conversation for him.)
She got to open up a little bit on their one on one (in which they saw some guy named Clay Walker, continuing the time-honored tradition of featuring "amazing" artists that I have never heard of in my life), revealing that she left her last boyfriend because he didn't want to marry her. She's in luck, because at least one person on the show knows how that feels.
4. Lindzi
The horse girl. She seemed to think that the outdoors group date would work to her advantage, but it looked like she had to ride at the back of the pack since she was the most accomplished rider. Not only that, she tried to move in on Ben in the river after Courtney had pulled him away, but that ended up being SUPER awkward as she stood near them by herself and had to watch Ben make googly eyes at Courtney and the fish she caught. She did very little this episode, but I think she still does have some momentum from her one on one date and the whole horse thing. Not sure how long that will last though.
5. Nicki
This is sort of a gut feeling thing for me. She gets a decent amount of camera time even though she hasn't had a one on one or even a really intense conversation with Ben (that's been aired anyway). I don't know. To me she doesn't seem to have shown a whole lot of substance as everything she's said has just revolved around feelings and falling in love in a very generic sense even though she mentions Ben's name once or twice in there. Still, among the girls who haven't had a one on one yet I think she has the best chance.
6. Emily
Boy, she really shouldn't have talked crap on Courtney to Ben. It always seems super insecure when you have to talk down another contestant rather than focusing on your own relationship. I've only watched two seasons of the Bachelorette other than this, but it seems like every time there's someone who can't resist making this mistake. Even worse, Courtney had already mentioned how the other girls didn't like her, so Ben could easily have seen this as Emily bullying her instead of vice versa. Not only that, when Courtney confronted her about it, she feigned ignorance like a child (which was funny, because she was telling Courtney to stop acting like one). I don't know who she was trying to fool. Courtney knew, Ben knew, and the whole audience knew. Overall, a terrible move, and yet another reason why I continue to believe Courtney is the only one who knows what she's doing.
Even with that, I didn't think it was enough for Ben to send her home. She's very pretty and smart enough to have a real conversation with Ben instead of just boring or BSing him. I think if she can remember why she's here she can make a run.
The previous four girls are pretty close to me, and I think any two of them could make it to the hometown dates right now.
7. Rachel
I know Ben said some stuff about being patient and all that...but honestly their date looked uncomfortable and forced. Of course I realize the producers may have chosen to include more of the awkward moments they had ("There's a beaver lodge over there") compared to the other dates, but there were definitely still shades of the tankless water heater date. Rachel's version of "opening up" consisted of her talking about how hard it is for her to open up, except in a more roundabout way. I appreciate her being honest and not dumping everything out if she wasn't comfortable with that, at the same time, the Bachelor is obviously an extremely fast paced show and I can't see how it's not a disadvantage for her to stay closed off. Despite all this, I guess it was good enough for Ben and he gave her a rose. I'm not sure how far she can get if she continues to beat around the bush, but she does have one thing working to her advantage: she is really pretty.
8. Casey S
She finally made it on-screen today with some quick one on one time during the group date...until Nicki interrupted. She also got to defend Courtney and tell her that Emily talked crap about her to Ben since apparently Casey is Courtney's only friend in the house. It sounds cheesy, but I did like how she didn't just accept someone gossiping about her friend. Other than that, not too much, but she seems cool and I hope we get to see more of her. Among the (3?) girls Ben hasn't kissed, I give her the best chance to make a surprise run.
9. Blakeley
She seems to have toned down her cattiness, maybe content to let everyone hate Courtney instead. Still she hasn't done much since episode 2 so I'm not sure where her aggressive cougar persona went or if she's just waiting. I fail to see what she has on Monica besides that one night. She never seemed to build on it (probably because there was nothing really to build on) and realistically, she's a bit on the old side for this show/Ben.
10. Jamie
I'll be honest, I hate to put her this low since her intro tape was one of my favorites, but she just has not done a single thing to distinguish herself. I'm pretty sure she hasn't been seen talking (or even interacting) with Ben since she got out of the limo. It's almost like she's just chilling in the background waiting to be sent home. I still think she'd be able to make a good impression if she had a one on one, but to this point she's far behind the girls who have gotten one already and hasn't done much to give Ben a reason to want to take her out.
11. Elyse
Had no opinion of her until she ripped Shawntel last week. Then I didn't like her. Obviously what I think of her doesn't matter, but her real problem is that she hasn't gotten a lot of time with Ben, isn't as attractive as most (all?) of the other girls there, and honestly Ben doesn't seem too interested.
Clearly the most important thing is chemistry and genuine romantic feelings, but there has to be more than that as well. In this context I've called it "knowing how to play the game," but really is it any different than what we "normal" people have to go through? In my opinion, understanding the social environment that you're in and being able to conduct yourself appropriately is one of the most important things you can learn in life, whether you're at work, school, on a date, or happen to be trying to find love on reality tv.
Regardless of whether or not she and Ben actually have chemistry (I think they do, or at least just as much as nearly all the girls there), she seems to be the only one there who is conscious of the fact that they're on the Bachelor.
She doesn't just talk the talk, she walks it as well. She doesn't force anything on the fishing date, but when she sees her chance she makes her move, pulling Ben away from the rest of the group instead of just standing there trying to make small talk as most of the others do. The fact that she ended up being the only one to catch a fish is just gravy.
Not only that, she's able to steal him away again during the little pool party afterwards. She knows she hasn't endeared herself to the rest of the group and takes advantage of it, telling Ben that she doesn't feel comfortable on the group dates because the other girls don't like her. Once again Ben takes the bait, seeing this as some kind of weakness and being all too ready to save the day with the group date rose.
I honestly don't know if she's completely playing Ben or if she does have feelings for him, but she's definitely playing the rest of the girls, who seem to be reliant on their "connection with Ben" to keep them safe while she makes moves to endear herself to him beyond that. Either way, I'm pretty sure she will be in the top 3 as well. To me, no one really comes close to her or Kacie B. at this point in the show in terms of how far along they are with Ben. Possibly more importantly, I believe that Courtney is the smartest person in the house right now. Some might see it as conniving or manipulative; I just think she has a strong understanding of what she needs to do to get what she wants moreso than the other girls. And not only that, she's a knockout. Sometimes life isn't fair.
3. Jennifer
Ben seems to like her a lot despite the fact that when they're actually talking to each other, there doesn't seem to be any depth. Still, they always seem eager to spend time together and Ben thinks she's the best kisser there. I don't think those two are necessarily unrelated.
(Sidenote: Ben loves kissing. He kisses everyone whenever and wherever he pleases. I think by this point if Ben hasn't kissed you, it's hopeless. Honestly it seems like it's a replacement for conversation for him.)
She got to open up a little bit on their one on one (in which they saw some guy named Clay Walker, continuing the time-honored tradition of featuring "amazing" artists that I have never heard of in my life), revealing that she left her last boyfriend because he didn't want to marry her. She's in luck, because at least one person on the show knows how that feels.
4. Lindzi
The horse girl. She seemed to think that the outdoors group date would work to her advantage, but it looked like she had to ride at the back of the pack since she was the most accomplished rider. Not only that, she tried to move in on Ben in the river after Courtney had pulled him away, but that ended up being SUPER awkward as she stood near them by herself and had to watch Ben make googly eyes at Courtney and the fish she caught. She did very little this episode, but I think she still does have some momentum from her one on one date and the whole horse thing. Not sure how long that will last though.
5. Nicki
This is sort of a gut feeling thing for me. She gets a decent amount of camera time even though she hasn't had a one on one or even a really intense conversation with Ben (that's been aired anyway). I don't know. To me she doesn't seem to have shown a whole lot of substance as everything she's said has just revolved around feelings and falling in love in a very generic sense even though she mentions Ben's name once or twice in there. Still, among the girls who haven't had a one on one yet I think she has the best chance.
6. Emily
Boy, she really shouldn't have talked crap on Courtney to Ben. It always seems super insecure when you have to talk down another contestant rather than focusing on your own relationship. I've only watched two seasons of the Bachelorette other than this, but it seems like every time there's someone who can't resist making this mistake. Even worse, Courtney had already mentioned how the other girls didn't like her, so Ben could easily have seen this as Emily bullying her instead of vice versa. Not only that, when Courtney confronted her about it, she feigned ignorance like a child (which was funny, because she was telling Courtney to stop acting like one). I don't know who she was trying to fool. Courtney knew, Ben knew, and the whole audience knew. Overall, a terrible move, and yet another reason why I continue to believe Courtney is the only one who knows what she's doing.
Even with that, I didn't think it was enough for Ben to send her home. She's very pretty and smart enough to have a real conversation with Ben instead of just boring or BSing him. I think if she can remember why she's here she can make a run.
The previous four girls are pretty close to me, and I think any two of them could make it to the hometown dates right now.
7. Rachel
I know Ben said some stuff about being patient and all that...but honestly their date looked uncomfortable and forced. Of course I realize the producers may have chosen to include more of the awkward moments they had ("There's a beaver lodge over there") compared to the other dates, but there were definitely still shades of the tankless water heater date. Rachel's version of "opening up" consisted of her talking about how hard it is for her to open up, except in a more roundabout way. I appreciate her being honest and not dumping everything out if she wasn't comfortable with that, at the same time, the Bachelor is obviously an extremely fast paced show and I can't see how it's not a disadvantage for her to stay closed off. Despite all this, I guess it was good enough for Ben and he gave her a rose. I'm not sure how far she can get if she continues to beat around the bush, but she does have one thing working to her advantage: she is really pretty.
8. Casey S
She finally made it on-screen today with some quick one on one time during the group date...until Nicki interrupted. She also got to defend Courtney and tell her that Emily talked crap about her to Ben since apparently Casey is Courtney's only friend in the house. It sounds cheesy, but I did like how she didn't just accept someone gossiping about her friend. Other than that, not too much, but she seems cool and I hope we get to see more of her. Among the (3?) girls Ben hasn't kissed, I give her the best chance to make a surprise run.
9. Blakeley
She seems to have toned down her cattiness, maybe content to let everyone hate Courtney instead. Still she hasn't done much since episode 2 so I'm not sure where her aggressive cougar persona went or if she's just waiting. I fail to see what she has on Monica besides that one night. She never seemed to build on it (probably because there was nothing really to build on) and realistically, she's a bit on the old side for this show/Ben.
10. Jamie
I'll be honest, I hate to put her this low since her intro tape was one of my favorites, but she just has not done a single thing to distinguish herself. I'm pretty sure she hasn't been seen talking (or even interacting) with Ben since she got out of the limo. It's almost like she's just chilling in the background waiting to be sent home. I still think she'd be able to make a good impression if she had a one on one, but to this point she's far behind the girls who have gotten one already and hasn't done much to give Ben a reason to want to take her out.
11. Elyse
Had no opinion of her until she ripped Shawntel last week. Then I didn't like her. Obviously what I think of her doesn't matter, but her real problem is that she hasn't gotten a lot of time with Ben, isn't as attractive as most (all?) of the other girls there, and honestly Ben doesn't seem too interested.
Clearly the most important thing is chemistry and genuine romantic feelings, but there has to be more than that as well. In this context I've called it "knowing how to play the game," but really is it any different than what we "normal" people have to go through? In my opinion, understanding the social environment that you're in and being able to conduct yourself appropriately is one of the most important things you can learn in life, whether you're at work, school, on a date, or happen to be trying to find love on reality tv.
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