The Bachelor Week 5 Power Rankings

A (brief) Word on the Departed

Never really hid the fact that I didn't like Elyse and I can't say I'll miss her much. I personally thought it was weird how she talked about how she had done everything she wanted to do as a single girl already (at the ripe old age of 24) and now just really wanted to get married and start a family. I think Ben saw the same thing as well. The fact that Elyse couldn't recognize how far behind she was on some of the othe girls and was so upfront about expressing her desire to get hitched and have kids and all that (presumably with Ben) even though she's only been on one group date makes me sort of question her outlook on relationships. Although again, she is 24 and something about her just reminds me of Snooki.

As far as Jennifer goes...wow, did not see that coming. Still not quite sure what Ben was thinking. Something must have happened that we didn't see, because they just had a one on one last week. It would seem kind of strange to me that he liked her enough to give her a rose after that date but then all of a sudden send her home the next week. That's going to shake up the rankings for sure. But hey, at least I wasn't the only one surprised.

@whitneyEVEport

Major upset on the @BachelorABC! How could this happen?! I'm so confused.

@ashhebert

Aww JP and I are so sad about Jennifer! Shocked! :-0

Week 5 Power Rankings

1. Kacie B (no change)
Same ol' sweet Kacie B, but she got to show off some of her competitive side on the group baseball date/competition. I'm assuming she has some athletic ability, since Courtney picked her to be on her team (first, no less), unless there are some weird mind games going on there. I thought it was a good sign that she got the rose on the group date. She didn't seem to be acting super desperate or anything in an effort to get it, so the fact that Ben just gave it to her says a lot. The only reason I thought about moving her down is that I'm not positive she'll be able to handle the pressure as girls keep getting eliminated and Courtney turns her attention towards her. But we'll cross that bridge when we get to it.

2. Courtney (no change)
Still my favorite to watch. Even though I have her ranked second, she still very obviously has more control than any of the other contestants, if only because she's the only one interested in playing that game. I find her little put-downs of the other girls amusing not because I'm a mean-spirited person (...okay, not just because I'm mean-spirited), but because I find them to be very accurate most of the time. But she's now starting to see Kacie as a legitimate threat, and pulling Ben out for a late night skinny dip is an indication of that. To me that's definitely a move out of desperation. You really wouldn't do that unless you needed to change the status quo. I'm not quite sure how well that worked, as Ben seemed to feel kind of bad about it afterwards.

3. Nicki (up 2 spots)
Had to move her up. Maybe it's because I'm new to the show, but I think I tend to overrate one on one dates. However, they looked very comfortable and, despite my hatred for all the contrived metaphors, the fact that they're date didn't get completely ruined by the rain is a good sign I think.
Quick sidenote: Ben said it was "raining gatos." Um, isn't the correct idiom in English "raining cats and dogs"? So why did he just say it was "raining cats"? Silly winemaker...
Anyways, cool date. They were able to enjoy each other's company even though it didn't go as planned. More importantly Ben didn't hesitate in bringing up her married/divorced past, which makes me think he is wanting to make an effort to get past that. Regardless he's handling that whole thing a lot better than I would.

4. Lindzi (no change)
Ben guaranteed her a spot in the second half of the group date by putting her on both baseball teams. Ali thinks it's a positive thing, and for the most part I guess I do too. The only thing is Ben has also given some dates to girls he's not sure about (or so he says) and I wonder if that was the case here. But either way he wanted to spend more time with her, and that's never a bad thing.

5. Rachel (up 2 spots)
6. Emily (no change)
Flip-flop here because of Emily's insistence to keep bringing up Courtney. Tonight was even more bizarre since she started the conversation apologizing for doing so last week and ended the conversation by doing it again. I don't understand. Also, apparently some of her sorority sisters have come out and said she was a fan of the Bachelor and is only going on the show to get her name and face out there? And to that I say...there is nothing wrong with that.

7. Casey S (up 1 spot)
8. Jamie (up 2 spots)
This is probably wishful thinking on my part. Could it be that they've had some meaningful time together that just hasn't been shown? Possible, but probably doubtful. But there has to be some reason that Ben's keeping them around...right?

9. Blakeley (no change)
Sorry, despite her opening up to Ben during the cocktail party, I just don't see this as being a fit at all. Her tears and frustration at baseball and afterwards seemed more like desperation than heartbreak. While she's had more (on-camera) interactions with Ben, does that really put her ahead of the two (younger, more attractive, less stripperish [Google search at your own caution]) girls in front of her on these rankings?

Playing the game

The Bachelor series has always been a mix between dating and reality tv, a sort of unholy combination of eHarmony and the Real World. Obviously it tends more towards the reality tv side of things as it is first and foremost a show, but I feel like the lines get blurred sometimes, even for someone as cynical as me (although this is my first season).

I mean, to me it seems silly that someone would be naive enough to go into the show and treat it like a legitimate opportunity to find a soulmate. Given the nature (one person dating 30 other people at the same time) and history (only a handful of marriages with only one of those still going) of the show, no one could possibly be that doe-eyed right?

At the same time, it seems very cold that someone would treat it as just another reality game show. As much as I find it hilarious when people on the show mention this phrase, there is something to be said about The Right Reasons and there's something a little sinister about someone going on the show just for publicity or just to play the game or something like that while others are genuinely invested.

To be honest I don't know if one is better or worse than the other, but I always find it strange that there are people who go on this show not seeming to know what the premise is. It's not like it's a new thing as it's been on for many years now. I think that no matter why you're there (love, fame, "winning," etc) you should be doing things that increase the chances of you getting what you want. You need to know how to play the game. And in order to do that, you have to reconize both sides of the show.

A Word on the Departed

I can't say I'm too surprised that Samantha got the boot, although that it happened during the group date was a surprise. She seemed nice enough, but a little airheadish although I might be biased by the blonde pageant queen stereotype. I have to say, I don't really understand Ben's logic in letting her go. I guess Ben didn't like that she wasn't happy that she'd only been on group dates? Except that Nicki basically complained about the exact same thing literally minutes before his conversation with Samantha. His explanation seemed kind of dodgy. Maybe he just didn't want to flat out say he wasn't interested? I don't know.

I'm sad Monica's out, but it was bound to happen. She's older than the other girls and really didn't have any chemistry with Ben. Actually on tonight's episode we got a shot of her and Ben walking away to talk during the cocktail reception, but then it cut back to the girls talking amongst themselves. Probably not a good sign. Still, she was clearly the mother hen/big sister to a lot of these other girls and it really showed tonight. It'll be interesting to see what some of these girls do without her to talk to.

Week 4 Power Rankings
(Note: I've never done power rankings for anything. Obviously I realize we don't see all the interactions between people but whatever. Enjoy and make fun of how wrong I am)

1. Kacie B
Already mentioned how much I like her. She seems really taken with Ben (This seems common for people who get the first one on one. Any veteran watchers like to confirm?) and their interactions always seem so much more natural and easy than when Ben's with anyone else. She seems very invested already, but unlike the other girls, I actually believe her when she talks about the connection that they have.
My only misgiving with her is that she doesn't seem to know she's on the Bachelor. How else to explain why she seems to expect every one on one date? Or how surprised/hurt she is when she sees Ben kissing other girls right after kissing her? Like it actually seems like she genuinely believes that Ben is her fiance/boyfriend and cannot comprehend why he is even taking the time to talk to these other girls.

I mean I get it (sorta). I'm sure it's an extremely intense emotional experience. Still...crying just because someone else got a one on one date? Really? I don't know if she has trust/insecurity issues from the past or maybe she's just a (what do they call it?) stage 5 clinger, but that seems like a wild overreaction. Right now she seems like the favorite to become the Bachelorette when she gets dumped. Either that or she'll become a stalker. Still, I think she's a lock for top 3 unless she has a complete mental breakdown.

2. Courtney
Oh Courtney, she really is my favorite. I find that most of the stuff she says is right on. Out of all the girls, she's the most prepared and capable of playing the game. I don't even know if the other girls realize there's a game at all. Ben takes the girls on a horseback riding/fishing date, but while most of the girls seem content to try to reel in a fish, Courtney seems to be the only one with her eyes on the prize.

"I know this is a fishing date, but let's be honest, it's not about catching a trout. It's more about catching Ben. I've never fished before but catching a fish probably isn't that much harder than catching a man...it's all about knowing when to make your move and I'm not seeing a lot of moves at all being made towards Ben."
Regardless of whether or not she and Ben actually have chemistry (I think they do, or at least just as much as nearly all the girls there), she seems to be the only one there who is conscious of the fact that they're on the Bachelor.
She doesn't just talk the talk, she walks it as well. She doesn't force anything on the fishing date, but when she sees her chance she makes her move, pulling Ben away from the rest of the group instead of just standing there trying to make small talk as most of the others do. The fact that she ended up being the only one to catch a fish is just gravy.
Not only that, she's able to steal him away again during the little pool party afterwards. She knows she hasn't endeared herself to the rest of the group and takes advantage of it, telling Ben that she doesn't feel comfortable on the group dates because the other girls don't like her. Once again Ben takes the bait, seeing this as some kind of weakness and being all too ready to save the day with the group date rose.
I honestly don't know if she's completely playing Ben or if she does have feelings for him, but she's definitely playing the rest of the girls, who seem to be reliant on their "connection with Ben" to keep them safe while she makes moves to endear herself to him beyond that. Either way, I'm pretty sure she will be in the top 3 as well. To me, no one really comes close to her or Kacie B. at this point in the show in terms of how far along they are with Ben. Possibly more importantly, I believe that Courtney is the smartest person in the house right now. Some might see it as conniving or manipulative; I just think she has a strong understanding of what she needs to do to get what she wants moreso than the other girls. And not only that, she's a knockout. Sometimes life isn't fair.

3. Jennifer
Ben seems to like her a lot despite the fact that when they're actually talking to each other, there doesn't seem to be any depth. Still, they always seem eager to spend time together and Ben thinks she's the best kisser there. I don't think those two are necessarily unrelated.
(Sidenote: Ben loves kissing. He kisses everyone whenever and wherever he pleases. I think by this point if Ben hasn't kissed you, it's hopeless. Honestly it seems like it's a replacement for conversation for him.)
She got to open up a little bit on their one on one (in which they saw some guy named Clay Walker, continuing the time-honored tradition of featuring "amazing" artists that I have never heard of in my life), revealing that she left her last boyfriend because he didn't want to marry her. She's in luck, because at least one person on the show knows how that feels.

4. Lindzi
The horse girl. She seemed to think that the outdoors group date would work to her advantage, but it looked like she had to ride at the back of the pack since she was the most accomplished rider. Not only that, she tried to move in on Ben in the river after Courtney had pulled him away, but that ended up being SUPER awkward as she stood near them by herself and had to watch Ben make googly eyes at Courtney and the fish she caught. She did very little this episode, but I think she still does have some momentum from her one on one date and the whole horse thing. Not sure how long that will last though.

5. Nicki
This is sort of a gut feeling thing for me. She gets a decent amount of camera time even though she hasn't had a one on one or even a really intense conversation with Ben (that's been aired anyway). I don't know. To me she doesn't seem to have shown a whole lot of substance as everything she's said has just revolved around feelings and falling in love in a very generic sense even though she mentions Ben's name once or twice in there. Still, among the girls who haven't had a one on one yet I think she has the best chance.

6. Emily
Boy, she really shouldn't have talked crap on Courtney to Ben. It always seems super insecure when you have to talk down another contestant rather than focusing on your own relationship. I've only watched two seasons of the Bachelorette other than this, but it seems like every time there's someone who can't resist making this mistake. Even worse, Courtney had already mentioned how the other girls didn't like her, so Ben could easily have seen this as Emily bullying her instead of vice versa. Not only that, when Courtney confronted her about it, she feigned ignorance like a child (which was funny, because she was telling Courtney to stop acting like one). I don't know who she was trying to fool. Courtney knew, Ben knew, and the whole audience knew. Overall, a terrible move, and yet another reason why I continue to believe Courtney is the only one who knows what she's doing.
Even with that, I didn't think it was enough for Ben to send her home. She's very pretty and smart enough to have a real conversation with Ben instead of just boring or BSing him. I think if she can remember why she's here she can make a run.
The previous four girls are pretty close to me, and I think any two of them could make it to the hometown dates right now.

7. Rachel
I know Ben said some stuff about being patient and all that...but honestly their date looked uncomfortable and forced. Of course I realize the producers may have chosen to include more of the awkward moments they had ("There's a beaver lodge over there") compared to the other dates, but there were definitely still shades of the tankless water heater date. Rachel's version of "opening up" consisted of her talking about how hard it is for her to open up, except in a more roundabout way. I appreciate her being honest and not dumping everything out if she wasn't comfortable with that, at the same time, the Bachelor is obviously an extremely fast paced show and I can't see how it's not a disadvantage for her to stay closed off. Despite all this, I guess it was good enough for Ben and he gave her a rose. I'm not sure how far she can get if she continues to beat around the bush, but she does have one thing working to her advantage: she is really pretty.

8. Casey S
She finally made it on-screen today with some quick one on one time during the group date...until Nicki interrupted. She also got to defend Courtney and tell her that Emily talked crap about her to Ben since apparently Casey is Courtney's only friend in the house. It sounds cheesy, but I did like how she didn't just accept someone gossiping about her friend. Other than that, not too much, but she seems cool and I hope we get to see more of her. Among the (3?) girls Ben hasn't kissed, I give her the best chance to make a surprise run.

9. Blakeley
She seems to have toned down her cattiness, maybe content to let everyone hate Courtney instead. Still she hasn't done much since episode 2 so I'm not sure where her aggressive cougar persona went or if she's just waiting. I fail to see what she has on Monica besides that one night. She never seemed to build on it (probably because there was nothing really to build on) and realistically, she's a bit on the old side for this show/Ben.

10. Jamie
I'll be honest, I hate to put her this low since her intro tape was one of my favorites, but she just has not done a single thing to distinguish herself. I'm pretty sure she hasn't been seen talking (or even interacting) with Ben since she got out of the limo. It's almost like she's just chilling in the background waiting to be sent home. I still think she'd be able to make a good impression if she had a one on one, but to this point she's far behind the girls who have gotten one already and hasn't done much to give Ben a reason to want to take her out.

11. Elyse
Had no opinion of her until she ripped Shawntel last week. Then I didn't like her. Obviously what I think of her doesn't matter, but her real problem is that she hasn't gotten a lot of time with Ben, isn't as attractive as most (all?) of the other girls there, and honestly Ben doesn't seem too interested.


Clearly the most important thing is chemistry and genuine romantic feelings, but there has to be more than that as well. In this context I've called it "knowing how to play the game," but really is it any different than what we "normal" people have to go through? In my opinion, understanding the social environment that you're in and being able to conduct yourself appropriately is one of the most important things you can learn in life, whether you're at work, school, on a date, or happen to be trying to find love on reality tv.

Cross one off the leap list

(Wow this post is long...)

I've never seen The Bachelor before but I thought I'd give this season a shot since I thought Ben F was a pretty chill guy on last season of The Bachelorette (sidenote: They're saying Emily might be next? I'm down.)

After 3 episodes, I can safely say that this show is way crazier than I thought it would be, though I've heard that this group of women is pretty insane even by Bachelor standards. I've also been hearing that Ben F (I guess I can just call him Ben since he's the only one on this show) isn't as attractive as past Bachelors which...I mean he's alright. I dunno, maybe that's why Ashley didn't pick him.

I'm not quite sure how the rest of this season is going to go, but if it gets any crazier than it did this week, I might need some therapy after the finale.

I think that how people respond to adversity (or what they perceive as adversity) says a lot about them as a person. Obviously this is not an original thought at all, but as an audience, we really see so little of these girls that we really have to pick at everything the show gives us.

For one thing, I thought the eliminated girls Erika and Jaclyn's reactions to Shawntel coming in were disgusting. Erika's whole "She's uglier in person and has thicker thighs than I do" thing was like...really? And Jaclyn was all over the place, calling Shawntel "Brad's dumpster trash" and seeming to be very distraught at being dumped for someone she thought Ben has only known for three minutes. It was satisfying to see them go, not just because of this but because I'm not sure why Ben had been keeping them around in the first place. I mean Erika's kind of cute, but also pretty uninteresting (and that whole "You're guilty of being sexy" entrance...good grif). As for Jaclyn, not trying to be mean, but she kind of looks like a foot.

Those two were bad (although no one was particularly nice), but in my opinion Elyse was the worst. Of course she's who got interrupted by Shawntel, but she just looked and sounded so ugly as she was sneering. "Who IS she?" "You don't even know Ben. You were on Brad's season." Let's be honest. Elyse is also not the most attractive or interesting girl there and it looks like she doesn't have much of a winning personality either.

I guess I can understand the reaction to some extent, but it also went a bit overboard (Rachel made fun of Shawntel the funeral director for eating people's blood for crying out loud). I mean, all these girls are supposedly there for love. They supposedly want this for Ben as well. Can they really fault Shawntel, someone who has actually known Ben for more than 3 weeks, for wanting the same thing? Just ugh. I feel like by not keeping her on, Ben gave up whatever chemistry they had to hedge his bets, as he definitely would have been in A LOT of those girls' doghouses if he gave her a rose.

ANYWAY. The rest of these girls (in order of roses).

Emily: I like Emily a lot. She's pretty, seems intelligent, and can hold her own in conversation. She didn't rip into Shawntel, and even picked up on the fact that yes, there is a connection between her and Ben from outside the show. I'm just not sure Ben was that into her and the whole "we climbed this bridge so we can do anything!" idea was beyond forced. She also seems to be really affected by Courtney, which might have a negative impact on her chances. Still, she seems real solid and it's not like there have been that many girls who have stood out. If she keeps it together I think she can make a run.

Rachel: I was sad she was so mean to Shawntel because I really liked Rachel. ...hm actually that's not really true. I just thought she was hot. Those bangs! Anyway, she seems way more into Ben than he is into her.

Lindzi: Why is her name spelled like that...anyway, she and her horse definitely made a strong first impression. Her one on one went reasonably well. Courtney doesn't like her. Umm...yeah. I don't know. Ben seems to like her enough that she can make it to hometowns, but I just do not really see it between them.

Courtney: A lot of people think she's awful...but I kind of love her. Yes, at times she seems like a psycho b, but honestly I find her hilarious. Everything she does, from her super snide comments to the fact that she seems to only have one facial expression, just cracks me up. She does seem mean, but I also think the other girls are just kind of sensitive and don't deal well with her dry comments. I've been there. Ben seems to like her a lot, which makes sense because she is super pretty (even though there's something about her eyebrows that creeps me out), and she seems like she should be used to non-exclusive relationships having dated John Tucker and all. I like her, but not in that way, although it seems like Ben does. And I do have to say I admire her little speech before she accepted the rose (the "whats-her-butt" speech) as I think most girls were just satisfied being frustrated secretly and acting like everything's okay in front of Ben.

Kacie B: What a sweetheart. Honestly, probably the only girl on this show I want to lose so I can date...I mean what? But really she just seems so nice with that Southern charm and hospitality and she's really into Ben (maybe naively so). They look like they have pretty good chemistry and she was one of the few girls that didn't really rip into Shawntel, which I respect. She's so sweet, what more is there to say. I have a feeling she's going far.

Jamie: She was an early favorite of mine. A nurse who's had to take care of her family for a while, she seems like a really nice girl who also happens to be really pretty. I'd imagine she's got a lot more substance than many of the other girls, but she's had next to no screentime so far.

Jennifer: I honestly don't see much between Ben and the redhead. When they talk, neither of them seem that interested and it always seems like an awkward segway into their kissing. Which, given that Ben thinks she's the best kisser there, might not be a coincidence.

Casey S: She's cute but...who is she? Like really, I'm pretty sure I've never seen her before.

Blakeley: She's 34 huh? Okay...she definitely seems cougarish and is not afraid to flaunt her assets, even in front of children. That's probably all that needs to be said about her. I can see Ben keeping her around if only to ogle at.

Monica: She also hasn't had much screentime since episode 1 when she somehow offended Jenna and put the moves on Blakeley. Good times. Ben doesn't seem very interested, but Monica seems pretty cool to me, someone who would be pretty chill to hang out with. She also makes me laugh pretty much every time she's on screen. Which of course is not a criterion of this show.

Nicki: She seems pretty classy and is the favorite of Orlando Magic forward Ryan Anderson and his Bachelor alum girlfriend Gia, but to me being divorced once by 26 seems like a red flag to me.

Sidebar here. Nicki also mentioned how Ben's only known Shawntel for "two minutes." These girls clearly are not aware that they're entering the Bachelor family, complete with reunions and events and all that. Like, would a random girl really just show up? Would the producers even allow that? How dumb are these girls for thinking that that's actually the case? At the very least, these comments won't endear them to past alumni during their gatherings.

Samantha: I don't know if she's had anything nice to say about anybody. She seems kind of airhead-ish to me, but that might just be a stereotype based on her whole pageant queen thing. I don't know, doesn't seem that interesting to me.

And that's it. One more thing on Brittney. What the heck was she looking for? Like...why did she even come on the show if she didn't even want to go on a date with Ben? I don't get it.

I guess I will never understand the mentality of a girl who's so desperate that she wants to go on a game show with a terrible track record realistically hoping to find love. Given that everyone on the show willingly made this choice, I have no idea how they can question each other. Whenever something weird happens (which is always), I have to remind myself that we're dealing with women who actually chose to be on The Bachelor. And then everything makes sense, even when it doesn't.

I will say that this is a fun show. Maybe I'll do this more...maybe I'll rank them. Who knows.

The one that got away

I watched the premeire of Alcatraz last night and was reasonably entertained. It seems like a sci-fi/procedural hybrid, but of course this early on it's sort of hard to tell where the show's going or even if it's going anywhere at all.

Even though I like it so far, I'm trying not to get too attached because I'm a little hesitant that it might just be the next in a line of "Lost successors" that don't live up to the hype. To be fair, I've been anointing a fair share of recent sci-fi type shows as "the next Lost" (especially if they feature warping through time and/or space, islands, or polar bears) only to be disappointed or, at the very least, not amazed. Some shows that come to mind are Flash Forward, the Event, and Terra Nova. Though I enjoyed those on various levels, they just couldn't live up to what Lost was for me.

I came to the realization that to a certain extent, Lost ruined other shows for me. Let me back up a little bit.

Lost was really my first serious relationship with a tv show. I had seen Veronica Mars before, but that came after that series was over. We had an understanding of what our relationship would be before we even started. No miscommunication or anything. With Lost, I started up right before the beginning of its last season. At the time, I was also seeing Heroes, but honestly our relationship had gone so far south, I knew it was only a matter of time before it was over. Luckily, I didn't have to do the breaking up as the series just got cancelled.

Lost was totally different from those two. I feel like I just expected so much more. For most of seasons 1-5, it was super compelling and seemed to always have something new and intriguing to keep me watching. But during season 6, I sensed things were changing with us. Would my questions get answered? Why did things feel so different?

But Lost assured me it wasn't the case. Everything would be fine in the end. It hadn't changed at all, everything was the same as before. And so I believed Lost. I made plans about our future and the full series blu-ray set we'd have together.

Then the finale happened and I realized the misgivings I had were for real. Our relationship ended and I didn't feel satisfied. In fact, I felt kind of duped. Having said this, I realize that many people saw Lost for 6 years, while my relationship only lasted 6 months. I also realize that many people were satisfied with how it ended. Let me just say that while that's all well and good, I, fairly or not, had higher expectations for our relationship. I expected there to be a light bulb moment, but got something that felt more like a cop out.

And that, in my typical long-winded, rambling fashion, is why I can't trust tv shows anymore. Lost hurt me and I'm afraid to give my heart to another.

Oh sure, I've seen my fair share of shows since then. But I haven't really been able to engage with a show like I did with Lost. There's really no theorycrafting, no browsing forums looking for the latest updates and thoughts. I just watch in a kind of dumb way, seeking entertainment and nothing more.

But with JJ Abrams, a mysterious island, and Jorge Garcia, maybe Alcatraz will be the one that turns me around. Maybe this one can understand what I've been through. But for now, Lost will be my great white buffalo.



By the way, meant to write about the Bachelor in here...but didn't want to make it too long. It's coming later, maybe.